Since pretty much nobody looks at xanga anymore I think i have the freedom to write whatever i please in here. Life is so completely odd for me right now at first it really bothered me that they liked eachother now Im starting to realize that maybe just maybe im moving on from him and actually getting over him...wouldnt that be amazing...its just sad to think that wow we had so much together and now it has just all gone down the drain...weird...and I also like this guy but I hate the fact that he just looks at me as a friend...Since when did I become just one of the guys I wish a guy would look at me and think wow she is amazing and be interested in me i love my guy friends dont get me wrong but I want to be the girlfriend with this guy not just the girl that happens to be a really good friend gr..lol...this sounds so stupid but Ive been thinking about all this for a while now...and Im totally rambleing but Im home sick today again (gr this cold will not go away) and I just want to get it all out of my system...Back to the first subject he likes her alot and this normally would really bother me but for some very strange reason im not as affected by it as I usually would be which is a good thing but it even shocks me that I feel this way cause usually I would be stuck in my little depressed rut right now but im not Im happy and excited about the future and what it may have in store for me...SO WEIRD I mean and I sometimes feel I’m a stronger person because of him and although I never would have said it then, but maybe im stronger for the fact that he broke my heart...lol...sounds crazy.and its weird we are actually able to be friends right now which is not the usual outcome from this sort of thing we usually would go like a month of absolutely hating eachother now we just skipped that step I geuss and are buddy buddy lol i mean i guess hah... I can help but laugh at myself this all seems so retarded for me its just all so out of my way of being if that makes since...But I do have to say im very proud of myself im glad I feel this way instead of being rediculously sad all the time...dont get me wrong im not amazing here i do have my sad moments but they are very few and very far beetween which is so good for me...lol Im just curiouse to know am I finally fed up with it? am I finally getting over him?? Okay yeah it felt good to write all that and get it out of my system... open your eyes, live your dreams, and always remember nothing is ever as bad as it seems if you’re convinced that you’re not good enough, you’ll have a difficult time accepting someone into your life who thinks you are. I just happen to love this next quote... Sometimes its hard to walk in a single womans shoes...thats why we need really special shoes to make the walk more enjoyable.. Sex and the City And you anc tell I deffinetly fit into that category just look at my shoes lol | 
